There has been a phrase that I’ve been somewhat obsessed with for the past week. The truth is, I think I’ve been thinking of this phrase for years, but I haven’t made it a point to really meditate upon it for the last week. That phrase is:
What’s your story?
To be honest, I’ve never been able to really answer this. Not for anyone else, but more importantly, not to myself.
The reason that I’ve been really thinking hard about this phrase is because I’ve really wanted to make it a point to start blogging again. On top of that, I’ve wanted to start shooting video more often. I’ve done music my whole life. I’ve been shooting photos for the past several years. Video is a bit of a new frontier to me, and it excites me.
I’m hedging on 35. I’ve been blogging since I was in high school. Motherfucking high school. I’m talking about Free Open Diary. Then LiveJournal in college. Then MySpace. Then Blogspot. Then…look, if there was a platform, I was there.
My blogging hit its absolute peak in the early years of Tumblr. I was a 20-something drunk and I felt like I could just blog about anything I wanted. But since I was generally blogging in a wildly altered state, I don’t really feel like I can look back at that and say that it was quality blogging or a format or modus operandi that would work for me today. It’s not something that I could at least take pride in today.
All I know is that there’s something that I want to express, but I don’t really know what it is. It’s been like this for the past several years. It’s weird to live a life where there’s something constantly on the tip of your tongue but you’ve forgotten what you were going to say.
So, the thing that really helps ground my focus, especially as I start taking steps toward blogging/blogging is the phrase: What’s your story?
Social media, for the most part, is a vanity project. I can accept that. What I cannot accept is that it is largely used as a tool to showcase a highly-edited version of everyone’s idealized life. The toxic aspect of social media creates this need to draw the comparisons of the quality of your own life to a life that is presented to you. That makes me feel pretty shitty when I realize that the peak of my blogging popularity was when I was drunk 95% of the time…but when I get real, no one really cares.
Moving forward, I just want to showcase portions of a real life, whatever that looks like. I just want actual authenticity. Life is hard, and the hard things tend to yield some meaningful rewards in the long run.
The point is, I think somewhere along the way, I forgot how to express myself in a meaningful way on a regular basis. I want to get back to that.